sábado, 1 de noviembre de 2008

So... what's next?

Today I almost had a bike accident on my way to work. I was crossing the avenue and my chain fell out and it got stuck on my front wheel and stopped suddenly and just then I heard the horrible brakes noise from a car that was coming towards me - the guy was driving extremely fast to be 8.30 in the morning, but anyway, luckily nothing happened, aside from getting my hands dirty to take out the chain from my front wheel and being scared for about one hour.
Actually the day started quite weird, my dreams were not nice at all and I was already scared in my dreams, so the almost accident at 8.30 in the morning only made me feel even more scared.
And being scared makes me think about the future, it has already been more than one year since I left Peru. Living in Amsterdam and three months in Uganda have very enriching in many ways. I started and finished my studies and now I am a "Master of Sciences", which doesn't really make any difference aside from having an extra line in my CV.
Living in a student house with people from different countries and backgrounds was very fun, and sometimes tiring as well. I found very good friends that have given far more than their precious time, we have shared food, fun, laughs, tears and I am very lucky to have found them.
Just when I didn't expect it... yes, I fell in love and I found "Alguien que cuide de mi" (Christina Rosenvinge's song).
But things have not been smoth, I am working very hard to fight my way out, being Peruvian and not speaking Dutch fluently makes employeers to think twice or sometimes more to hire me and the overall environment and financial crisis doesn't help either. And that is why some questions pop out, what to do now then? Should I stay in NL and be patient and go on with the job hunting, or should I go somewhere else where English is the main language, or should I go back to Peru?
Any option is hard, in every option either I am away from my family, or from the city I fell in love with (Amsterdam), or being away from the person I fell in love with. I guess there is no easy answer for this, there is no way that I can totally picture myself in a fixed scenario right now and confusion makes me feel vulnerable. Nevertheless, I know I am very lucky to have the support from my family, friends and from my blue hands non-prince.
So decisions have to be taken, in such a serious way that scare me but it feels right to do so, for starters I will move to my own place very soon! And I am very excited about it, mainly because I haven't had my own room since April - just before I went to Uganda. The appartment is just great and the best of all it has a very nice kitchen where I am planning to cook Peruvian, Ugandan, Peruvian-Ugandan food, and anything I feel like, and of course it has a balcony, how I love balconies.
By the way, Tony Frost lecture and workshop was much more than I expected and I am very happy to have met him. Hopefully I will find my way out soon.